Hi, I'm Jocelyn, and I'm a terrible housewife

When I was in high school, I used to watch Sex and the City and fantasize about how, some day, I would be just like Charlotte York. She was perfect in every way. Beautiful, successful, rich, but more than anything, she was the perfect housewife.

I used to imagine my life when I was married with kids. I would be JUST like that. Perfectly put together, pearls and all, keeping an immaculate house, dinner on the table when my husband got home, all while raising babies. Yes, for a woman my age, this is a very old fashioned way of thinking, but it's what I wanted.

Today, I'm a 22 year old stay-at-home mom, and if you came over to my house right now, right this very second, you would probably be appalled by what you would see. My coffee table has 3 glasses and 2 baby bottles on it, my foyer table has a screwdriver sitting on top (because we have to change the damn swing batteries every day), my giant sectional sofa is covered by 2, equally giant, comforters (because we have to sleep downstairs most nights because the babe doesn't sleep the whole night in her crib). What else? Oh, let's see, the kitchen is a mess. Dishwasher full, causing dishes to pile up in the sink, floors desperately need to be swept. And don't even get me started on the upstairs. Our bedroom is a disaster area. When I look at it, I want to cry.

And you know what the problem is? I blame Brian because I really do try to keep this place clean, but he does nothing to help me keep it clean. I cleaned the entire downstairs on Saturday. Complete with vacuuming, which doesn't happen as often as it should in this house, but it didn't matter. Come Monday, it's a complete and utter mess, like it is every Monday. But the real problem, the reason why this place is never clean for very long, is me.

It's my fault that Evie doesn't sleep in her crib, causing me to not be able to make a noise when she's napping, in the living room, in her swing. When she is awake, she has to constantly be held or paid attention to. She's not content with just playing by herself and watching me clean. When I do, FINALLY, get her to sleep, I can't so much as get a glass of water for fear that the ice clinking in my glass will wake her. As I sit here typing this, I'm trying not to tap the keys too loud, because when I do, she stirs.

So I sit here. I sit here, on the computer, just waiting for her to wake up so we can start the cycle all over again. And just thinking about it, makes me want to breakdown into tears. This is not the kind of housewife I pictured myself being. I want a clean house, I want to cook, I want a baby who sleeps in her own crib, giving Mommy and Daddy their, much needed, alone time in the evenings.

What can I do though? I can't make her become a more independent baby. I can't force her to sleep in her crib all night. And if I can't handle doing household chores with one baby, how the hell am I supposed to do it with 2? Or 3? Or 4? I shudder at the thought of it.

For now, all I can do is try my best. I try not to think about the characters I idolized on TV. Because the fact is, it IS just a tv show. The Charlotte Yorks and Bree Vandekamps are just fictional characters. At least that's what I tell myself, but a little piece of me knows...women like that are out there, being great housewives, and that's the little piece that makes me feel like a failure as a wife and mother.

Giveaway: Blog Design

And the winner is...

Congrats, Jess! You're the winner! The next step is to go to my website and follow the Design Process steps. :)

To those who entered, but didn't win, I'm thinking about doing this as a monthly giveaway, so be sure to check back!

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In honor of starting my new blog designing business, Blogs by Jocelyn, I've decided to giveaway a free custom blog design.

You can click here to check out the kits that will be available to pick from if you win the design.

How to enter:

**You must be a follower of my blog to enter this giveaway**

**Make sure you leave a separate comment for each entry**

1. Vote for my personal blog on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here.

2. Vote for my design business blog on Top Mommy Blogs by clicking here.

3. Follow me on Twitter.  

4. Add my blog button to your blog.

5. Blog about this giveaway and copy/paste the link in your entry.

You have until 9:00 am on Tuesday to enter. On Tuesday, I will use Random.org to pick a winner. Good luck! :)

New Business

I took a giant leap today and launched my blog designing website.

I'm very excited to be starting this business. I've done some designs for friends and I finally mustered up the courage to start my own business.

I have an ad going up over at The Heir to Blair starting next month, and I'm hoping that will help get my business started!

Click the badge to check it out the new site! :)

Flippin' Sweet!

So um...I lost 5 lbs. last week!

I have no idea how, but to say I'm excited just wouldn't cut it. I'm THRILLED! I'm getting closer and closer to my goal weight. Only 6 more lbs. to go!

I know I can do this. My fear is that I'll gain it all back once I stop breastfeeding. Brian and I are starting our "Hardcore Life-Style Change" today. I don't want to call it a diet, because that's not what it is. Yes, he needs to lose weight. And yes, I still have a few more lbs. to go. We're not as much concerned with losing weight as we are being healthy for our daughter and each other. I don't want my unhealthy eating habits passed on to Evie, so we need to nip it in the bud now.

So 6 more lbs. to go. I'm going to say I can do it in 3 weeks. Brian and I are going to start taking nightly walks with the babe, now that it's spring and we had day light savings. I can't wait to reach my goal weight and see Brian start losing some weight!

Current Stats and Goals:

Current weight: 151

Goal weight: 145

Goal weight loss for the week: 2 lbs.

Other goals: It was too raining to walk last week, so I want to walk at least 3 nights this week

4 months

It's been 4 months since Evie was born. I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. She turns into a big girl a little more every day. She is sleeping in her crib now (Thank the lord!), but only until about 2 am and then she wants Mommy. I don't mind. I love snuggling with my Evie Monster. :)

Thumbs up for being 4 months old!

McFatty Monday- Vacation Edition

Kauai was A-mazing! We had such an incredible time! We were so sad to leave, but so ready to get back to our baby girl.

Anyway, not the point of this McFatty Monday post.

The point of this post is to be a complete attention whore and tell you that...I ONLY GAINED 1 POUND ON VACATION! Yes, ladies, I am screaming that from the rooftops! Every time I ate something fattening in Hawaii, which was pretty much every meal, I kept thinking about how my McFatty Monday post would go when I got back.

I was so sure I gained at least 5 lbs., but nope. I got on the scale this morning and read those 3 beautiful numbers. 1-5-6. I was shocked! I'm so happy I was able to keep the weight off.

As fun as eating everything I wanted was, it's back to the diet today for me and Brian. The weather has taken a turn for the better, so we'll be doing nightly walks with Evie in tow. Which I'm thrilled about! I love taking walks in spring weather!

How did everyone do during the 2 weeks I was gone? Did you lose any? Gain any?

Current Stats and Goals:
Current weight: 156
Goal weight: 145
Goal weight loss for the week: 2 lbs.
Other goals this week: Walk at least 3 nights this week

Just a few pics...

Here are some pics from the vacay so far...
Wailua Falls

Kilauea Point

Queens Bath

Hanalei Valley

Our first beach trip. The waves were WAY too strong to swim.

The Marriott golf course

Dinner at Plantation Gardens

Spouting Horn

The tree tunnel

Our view from our room

The Marriott pool

Hot tubs!

The view from Spouting Horn

We're having a blast, but we miss Evie a lot! :(

I'll post more pics when we get back!